So I walk into Payot, my local chain bookstore at lunchtime, intending to buy Wells Tower's story collection, Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned. I head straight for the new fiction shelves, and there is the book I want. I look around some more, browsing idly, and I am suddenly hit by the triumphant purple cover of my own book. It comes out officially tommorrow, 16 april, and I had not expected to see it just lying there like any other real book a day before it is published. I am completely unprepared for it, and I have, as you can imagine, a bit of an emotional meltdown.
I have written an essay for the Guardian, it will be published within the fortnight, in which I reflect on the combination of factors that made me a lawyer and a writer. In that essay, I recall that the first novel, poems and stories that I wrote as a child were taken for rubbish by the man who helped my father in the garden.
He made a nice little bonfire of my writing.
What do you want to be when you grow up? people would ask in that annoying way adults condescend to children.
A ballerina.
A vet.
An explorer.
These were my early ambitions.
I never actually thought of being a writer. It did not seem like a real thing to be, somehow. I was probably a daft kid, but I honestly did not know that writing could be a job, an occupation. All I knew was that I loved to make up stories as much as I loved to read. Reading and writing were linked, and it would never have occured to me as a ten year old that reading could be a job.
It was just what I did, I read, and I wrote.
I could not have seen that this love for reading and telling stories would lead me towards a moment of meltdown in a Geneva bookshop.
Or that the moment would involve Faber.
I remember reading my first Faber book.
It was William Golding's Lord of the Flies. I was 15, and I borrowed it from my friend Catherine Machingaidze. It was the Eng. Lit. set book for their year, but not for ours. I was intrigued by the title. I read it, and as I finished it, I cried with Ralph as we remembered the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called Piggy and all I wanted to do was to throw up. St Dominic's, though, only gave you just enough food to be absorbed into the body, so there was nothing to throw up, but the book unsettled me so much that I dreamt about it that night. I looked for more William Golding at the library during the school holidays, I found Fire Down Below and Rites of Passage, but they did not do to me what Lord of the Flies did. It is still one of my favourite books.
And with the publication of Easterly, I have joined Golding as a Faber author.
Let me stop before I have another meltdown.